Our Babys Bissett

our babys
0 days old
i am 34 and my husband is 58
when me and my husband got together we never thought that we would have a baby together. we had been together for 3 yrs when i went to the doctors as i did not feel well as i sat in the chair the doctor asked me if i could be pregant i just laughted as i was on the injection. so he did a water test and i was so surprised when he told me i was having a baby i had no idea. i was in shock and did not tell anyone for about a week then i had to tell my husband i didnt know what he was going to say so i just sat there and cried and as he asked me what was wrong i told him we was having a baby. he was so happy that it made me cry more . we have three girls that live at home with us and when my husband told them thay didnt beleive him. i was about seven weeks now and the girls where happy about it the youngest aged 8 was over the moon . i did all the normal things you do and i was feeling fine until i was about 10weeks and the girls where at school (aged 14, 12 , 8) and my and my husband was out in the car and i just didnt feel well i know in my heart that something was wrong when we got home i told my husband to go to work and i was going to go to bed and hope that it made me fill better. has he drove down the road i had a very bad pain in my belly so i went into the bathroom and i had started to bleed i just sat there crying and shouting so i called the doctor and when he got to me i knew what he was going to say but i just didnt want to hear it . i had lost our baby. i had to ring and tell my husband it was so hard to tell him i just screamed down the phone and he come straight home. he was so good he just sat there and cuddled me. when we told the girls thay was upset to but the youngest just could not understand and was so upset that she cryed all nite.i just couldnt understand why this had happened what had i done that was so wrong. but we pulled together and we all got through it and the pain got easyer but it never goes away. Then 4 months later my husband said to me one morning that he thought i was pregant again and the kids had said it to and in my heart i knew i was but i just didnt want to know as i didnt want to happen what happen before.the girls was off on hoilday with there nan and there auntie and me and my husband was going away for the weekend to a big car show that we do every year. so on the thursday morning i got up and as my husband went out the door i went down to the doctors when i told him how i was feeling he told me to go straight to the hospital for a scan . so off i went on my own when i got there the doctor had already rung them to tell them i was on my way so everythink was waiting for me as i sat on the bed i was just hoping that all was ok as i lied back the doctor started the scan and i could not see what was going on then he called for another person to come and have a look and i was so scared of what they was going to say then the big shock come and the doctor looked at me and said do you have twins in the family i answered yes why and he just smiled well that explains them two he said but where has this other one come from i just looked at him he told me well done you are having triplets he said well i nearley fell off the bed i just started to laugh i thought he was joking but was he turned the tv round i could see for myself and i just bursted into tears oh my god what am i going to do i said . after he had had a good look he took me into a room and we sat talking he told me i had to go back and see him after i come back from hoilday so i walked out of the hospital still in shock and couldnt beleive what he had just told me. when i got home my husband got in and he had one of his mates with him so i thought it was not the right time to tell him and i would wait until we was on our own . then the car we was taking to the show was not working and he was not happy so i thought to myself we are going on hoilday in 3 days time i will tell him then and i still had to get my own head round it. the morning of the show i got up and i was sick he looked at me and i went outside to get in the car to go to the shop when i got back he was waiting outside for me and i had been crying as i got out the car he asked me what was the matter and i just answered nothink but it was not good enough he just kepted on and on so i screamed i am pregant again and i am scared but i had not told him how many he just cuddled me and said it would be ok. we had a lovley weekend at the car show and everyone there knew we was having a baby . when we got home the next day we was off on hoilday in great yarmouth on a boat and i knew i could tell him then as we would be on our own .we got to the boat and it was nice and quite and it was my birthday it was a nice day and off we went was we was going up the river i sat there thinking what i was going to say but it didnt happen so the next day as we pulled into a boat yard we was just going to get off the boat to go shopping and i sat my husband down and said to him you know i told you i was pregant well i didnt tell you it all he looked at me and i said we are not just having one baby well he just laughed and said it is twins as there are twins on both sides of the family i looked at him and smiled and said no baby i love you so much we are having triplets well he was so shocked but so happy at the same time and he sat there on the boat ringing eveyone to tell them the news . why didnt you tell me before he said i looked at him and said i was so scared i didnt know what you would say we both sat there in shock crying with joy and cuddling each other. it was a great hoilday . when we told the girls the yongest was over the moon and the others were happy but a bit shocked . when we come back from hoilday the girls come home and it was all go . i was about 12 weeks and had to go to the hospital for a check up and all was well i was so pleased that i had gone more then the one before and thought i was over the worst . all was good with me the babys and the family . at about 14 weeks over two nite i got up and i had some spots on me i thought that i had just been bit but it got worse and i went to the doctors wheni got there he checked me over and he didnt look happy i asked him what is the matter with me he said you have got to go to the hospital now you have got measles and we need to check the babys by this time i knew that things was not right by the time i got there i was in a mess and i didnt know what to do the hospital was very good when the lady done the scan she looked at me and said i am so sorry but one og the babys had died but what about the other two i asked she just looked at me and said it doesnt look good with in 4 days i had lost all three babys thay where all boys and i just couldnt beleive that it had happened again i blamed myself for what happened and just started to scream why why why i asked why me .but the worst bit was yet to come when i told my husband he just looked and me and said why i told him it was my fault i had measles and he told me dont be silly i love you and as long as you are ok we will get though this together . then i had to tell the girls and they were all upset and crying and i just wanted to scream shout and curl up in a ball and hide away. it is now 8 months ago and i still think about our babys all the time and i have been back to the doctors and there is no reason why i should not had another baby and carry to term. me and my husband have decied to try again but no joy yet but i will never forget the ones i have losted and the pain will never go away we think about them all the time and what thay would have been doing .love and miss you always mummy and daddyxxxxxxxxxxx